Whether your relationship is strong or in the midst of some rocky times, these seven tips will help you to develop and strengthen your bond. The tips have been shown to work by researchers who have worked with thousands of people in relationships.
The principles described may take some work and adjustments on your part, but the reward of a renewed, reinvigorated relationship should be well worth the effort.
Make sacrifices:
It is not always easy and the rewards are not always instant, but sacrificing your immediate preferences and committing yourself to sharing, caring and listening are giant steps toward the goal of a satisfying, lifetime relationship. "Your success is my success."
Work on the relationship -- but not too hard. Trying hard does not guarantee success. Strive to achieve meaningful goals that will contribute to both people's happiness, using logic and reason, not maximum effort. Analyzing what had happened and telling out what you should have done differently. Everyone is not perfect. No one is. Always willing to hear suggestions on how to improve, but you have to stop trying so hard to achieve perfection." Stop pressuring yourself and let the relationship develop at its own pace.
See the love around you:
Address problems as they arise:
When we don't have a solution to a problem -- or the obvious solution makes us uncomfortable -- it is tempting to ignore the problem. But if you ignore a problem too long, it may become harder to solve. Thoughtful love and careful conflict are two signs of the same coin. Says David Olson, PhD, a leading researcher into relationships: "Loving well builds a reservoir of fondness that helps through tough times... arguing well avoids scorched-earth disagreements that drain the reservoir dry."
Spend enough time together:
The ultimate test of the health of a relationship is a simple question -- are you frequently lonely? If the answer is yes, then the relationship does not meet your most fundamental needs.
Don't overdo togetherness:
Relationships thrive on the quality, not the quantity, of contact. Most people need some distance each day for their own interests. Time apart strengthens the relationship by giving both partners a chance to feel an active need for each other and to experience the pleasure of reuniting. A study of newly retired married couples found that 76% felt that dealing with the greatly increased time spent in each other's company was a challenge.
Laugh often:
Humor brings a sense of fun to a relationship on good days, and lightens the burden of bad days. A recent study found that when each partner felt the couple had a good sense of humor, they reported 67% less conflict than couples whose partners felt that the other did not have a good sense of humor. Find something to look forward to.
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