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· Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.

· Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.

· Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills. Choose Love Over Hate -"The power of love can conquer the love of power"

A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it.

-Dogen

Married people or people in serious relationships aren't immune from the human need for close, meaningful friendships. But sometimes, especially when those friendships are with people of the opposite sex, those relationships feel more like intimate companionship than bosom buddy-hood. If left unchecked, such relationships can evolve what is known as "emotional affairs."

If you have caught yourself thinking or saying, "but we're just friends," you are probably already in trouble. "But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Rationalize might also be spelled "rational lies."

This should be a loud, screaming clue. Do you think and daydream about your "regular" friends in this way?

If you feel excitement, anticipation, or a quickening of your pulse as you get ready to see the person, watch out.

This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.

This flows naturally from this person being your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than purely physical ones, you can get trapped right here.

This practice is especially dangerous if you are sharing problems in your marriage or relationship with the other person.

Of course it looks like they do. That is part of the illusion of the affair. Believing this draws you away from your partner and toward the other person.

Secrets bond two people together against a third person.

Are you giving gifts you would not normally give to a friend? Things to wear, jewelry, and other intimate gifts come with a message: we are very close.

So many people say this was the one that pushed them over the edge. They had promised themselves nothing would happen, but the temptation and availability of time alone - with the person just a phone call away - was too much to resist.

Friendship should not be cloud with fear or guilt .Positive thinking will flows and so the will power, it will determine what we made off . Whenever you have a flash of love, innocence, inspiration, awe, wonder, or joy, remind yourself: This is the real me. Don’t let such moments simply pass you by. Stop and appreciate them, and ask that you receive more in the future.

We need to find balance and should not deny ourselves and we need to forgive ourselves ,loves do come by . With our hearts clear and our thoughts compassionate, we can act as a powerful force in the world. We are all needed in the important work of forgiveness and healing. When Loves is block by grief , it will not flows with sincerity. Love is energy that serves around us, and will reborn in new shapes of loves and fills our heart., and to be truthful .When loves block by lies, loves is nature, nature will not lies, as long as we accept and open to the truth, it will open our insight and will formed and connected . The main point here is to be sincere and truthful. All loves will purified and refreshing when the blockage is removed.

To the amount you distinguish love, you happen to love. Love is more than an sensation; it is a power of nature and for that reason must restrain legitimacy.To some degree we all fall in love with similes. We bear these images approximately within ourselves, waiting until we find a match for them in the exterior world. Usually we are penetrating for someone whichever to replicate our own self-images or to refurbish them. One kind of love seeks mirror, the other wants to append a missing piece.

In both cases there is an underlying sense of need. Feeling incomplete in yourself, you try to bolster your lack through someone else. If you want to feel love as God feels it, you must fill all your voids, for God can love only from the state of fullness.

To be a perfect lover would mean to have no secret weakness or wound you want someone else to fix for you. Searching out your own voids is the first step, filling them with being or essence is the second. This process is usually called learning to love yourself, but we must be careful with that term. Too often it is synonymous with learning to love your self-image. In the wizard’s eyes self-image is simply ego; it is denial papering over the void of lack. The real process of learning to love yourself would be better termed to love your Self, meaning your spirit.

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