Help is this my body?
Beware - don't compare!
It's natural to look at our friends for comparison. But it's not a good idea. Comparing ourselves with others is problematic because everyone develops differently and at different times. If you go through a growth spurt early, you may feel too tall. Yet your friend may be thinking that he or she is too small. It's usually hardest for the people who develop first or last. It's also a bad idea to compare ourselves to celebrities and models.
In reality, most people don't look like the limited body types shown in the media. (Actually, the models often don't look like that either: Many of those "perfect" bodies got that way through photo editing, not nature.) Forget magazine ads - check out family snapshots instead. Ads sell fantasy, not reality. It's easy to dream about becoming an Abercrombie model, but allowing hopes and expectations to get out of hand can only let a person down. People vary in terms of size, height, and shape, and how the body develops is in large part due to genetics. Your body is programmed to do pretty much what your parents' (or grandparents') bodies did. Nikki, for example, realized that, although she shared her mom's love of music, she'd inherited her physique from her father's side of the family. Before you look at your folks and freak out, consider that they're no longer teens.
People's bodies change as they grow older. Ask to see pictures of your parents, aunts, and uncles when they were your age. This will give you a chance to talk to them about their own development. Another thing to remember is that people had different lifestyles when your parents were growing up. If you're more involved in sports than your parents were, you're going to look fitter and more muscular. And, of course, the reverse is true for people who are less active than their parents were.
Treat your body well
Making educated choices about food and exercise is part of developing a mind and life of your own. Healthy eating and exercise can also give you some control over how your body turns out. Plus, exercise is a mood booster. If your changing body has you feeling sad or confused, it may help to go for a walk, play with your pets, or throw a Frisbee with your friends. About three quarters of all teens quit sports around the time their bodies develop. Often it's because the changes in their bodies influence which sports they compete in. Although you can still do any activity if you really are interested in it, some people prefer to switch to another activity. Wes put his strength and running skills to use playing football. And Nikki was able to combine her inspiration with her love of music when she discovered music in college. Sometimes people quit playing organized sports in high school because schoolwork becomes more demanding, or because they have a more active social life that fills their time. Now is definitely not the time to stop exercising completely, though. Use this time of change to explore how your body feels doing different activities. Taking yoga, martial arts classes, or other activities that involve focusing on how the body stretches and moves can help you become familiar with your body.
Befriend your body
Feeling like you don't know your body any more? Just like a friendship that grows and evolves, keeping in touch with our bodies takes time. Like friends, our bodies can let us down at times. But with a little work and understanding, it's possible to bounce back. Just like we know our friends' secrets, we know stuff about our own bodies that other people don't. For example, you may think your stomach sticks out because you spend hours focusing on it in the mirror. But the truth is, other people won't notice it like you do.
Walk tall
Even if you're not! What people do notice is how you project your feelings about yourself. If you think you're too tall, it will be more noticeable if you slump over and try to look smaller. If you're self-conscious about your pimples, hiding behind your hair may cover the zit on your cheek - but you'll look awkward and uncomfortable. As your body changes, it can help to work on good posture and walk with a sense of confidence. After doing this for a while, you'll probably become more confident too. There's not much you can do about your height or development, but you can focus on the things that you really like about yourself. Maybe it's your curly hair or the dimple you get when you smile. Maybe it's that you are a really thoughtful person or you are good at making people laugh. Ultimately, when you think of the people in your life that you care about the most, what they look like probably has very little to do with how much you like them.
More Curves Ahead
Just as you get used to your new shape, it will probably change again. The later teens and early 20s are (yet again) a time when the body and mind take another step in maturing and changing. For both girls and guys, this means filling out a little more so that they look more like adults and less like teens.This is another time when it's important to summon the powers of exercise and healthy eating: You've probably heard of the "freshman 15," when girls and guys go off to college and are in charge of feeding themselves for the first time. Many people who are on their own for the first time start by eating anything they want - usually junk food and high-fat snacks. Of course, most of them gain weight because they spend more time sitting and studying and less time being active. If you've already started focusing on what you eat and how you exercise, this will be less likely to happen to you.If our bodies had owners' manuals, they'd tell us to keep them clean, provide them with fuel, and offer them some stimulating activity. But our bodies are people too, and they do best when they're loved.
Learning to accept and appreciate ourselves helps build resilience
People who are resilient are better able to deal with problems and bounce back from disappointment than people who are not. Resilient people usually make good decisions and choices.
Accept and appreciate your body, no matter what it looks like right now, and - just like a good friend - it can do a lot for you in return!
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